Holidays have always been tricky for Nick and I. We both come from divorced homes- which means every holiday we need to be five different places- which is miserable (not exaggerating here- literally we are expected to be at five different places each holiday). Growing up, holidays were just my Mom, Dad, Brother, and I. We never really went anywhere and no one really came over. This is what I thought all families did- they just celebrated with the people they lived with and this was my "normal." When my parents split- it added a level of complication. When I met Nick, it added many many many layers of complications. The thing about feeling obligated to be so many places is that you never really get to enjoy any place you are actually at. I am always looking at the clock, thinking about where we need to be next. And if we don't go to visit someone on a holiday I am left feeling so guilty.
I always told Nick that if we ever had kids- things would need to change. For Easter we did our best to keep it simple. We went to church in the morning- and my Mom and Step-Dad came so they could see Nora. We went straight from church to Nick's Aunt's House. Nora did pretty good, but there was a fair amount of fussing. We left there and went to Nick's grandma's house around 5:00. So, Nora had been out and about since around 9:30. Needless to say- it didn't go well. She was really upset and cried so hard (which made her Momma want to cry even harder). I think we finally left around 7...and by the time we got home, I felt like I had just been punched in the face for an hour.
Once we got Nora all settled into bed, Nick and I had a long chat. I told him how much I hate divorce. I told him how the ripple affects of it just go on and on. I told him how it felt like holidays have lost their joy. I told him that I just can't imagine continuing to put our daughter through it. I wish I could have the attitude "the more the merrier" but it just isn't the case. I have no idea how we will resolve this- I don't know what the answer is, but I know something has to change- I just can't deal with having our daughter scream her little head off for every holiday. It makes me want to take our little family and run away! And I don't mean to sound ungrateful- family, after all, is wonderful. To have so many people that would allow us into their home to enjoy holidays with them- it's a good problem to have. It just kills me to have to drag our little clementine to so many places and I don't think I am willing to put her through it again if I can help it. Needless to say- I am so glad I don't have to freak out about all this holiday stuff again until Thanksgiving! Anyways- even though it was a tough day- Nora looked pretty darn adorable...
|Can't get enough of those chubby little cheeks!|
|Nick's family is very excited about a baby- these are just some of her Easter gifts!|