Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Saturday in the ER

Hello Friends. I debated on whether or not to post anything about this, but I decided it is part of my journey, so why not. I spent Saturday in the ER and it wasn't very fun. I become sick Friday night (I will spare you all the details...you're welcome) and it lasted into Saturday morning. I called my doctor around 11 AM and he said I needed to get to the ER to get checked out. After a tiny crying fit (the ER just always seems so scary to me) we headed over to the hospital.

Upon telling the checkin gal that I was pregnant she immediately picked up the phone and called the Labor & Delivery Unit. A lady came down with a wheelchair to get me- I assured her I could walk just fine. We talked about why I was there and she got me all settled in a room. Then a nurse came in and put these straps around my belly. She said she wanted to find the baby's heart rate. After 20 minutes she gave up and told me she couldn't find the heartbeat with that machine. Can you even imagine what was going through my head at this point? A little while later another nurse came in with one of the handheld tools that they always use at my doctor's appointments and picked up her heartbeat in seconds.

I basically laid in a bed for three hours- occasionally a nurse would come check on me, but nobody really did a thing. They asked a billion questions and took my vital signs but that was about it. Finally a nurse admitted to me that they didn't know why the checkin gal send me up there and that I should have been evaluated in the ER. So because I was in Labor & Delivery, my doctor had to come by and release me. He stayed in my room for all of 3 minutes and sent me home.

The combination of being really sick Friday night and Saturday morning, a three hour trip to the ER, and still not physically feeling well has me feeling really down. Part of me realizes that so many people have truly difficult pregnancies- so how can I even start to complain. Part of me just wants to cry- being pregnant is hard. I don't feel good right now. I feel heavy. I feel uncomfortable. I feel frightened. I feel a little bit alone. I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. I feel like my body is no longer my own. I feel like this pregnancy is temporarily reeking havoc on my emotions. I know this will all pass. I know because I don't feel well it has triggered a momentary pity party for myself. Today though, I just want to curl up on the couch and take a long nap and pray that tomorrow will be a brighter day. XO

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