Hi Friends. Do you ever have one of those weeks? A week that you aren't sure how you actually survived? I was there, last week, in fact, those feeling might still be lingering. Where to begin...the funeral, spontaneous house project, turning in my notice at work, or the stomach flu?
I guess I will start with the funeral. As I had said, our dear friend Margie passed away Sunday the 4th. The family had asked Nick to help preform the funeral. Nick had never done a funeral before, so this was a big deal. The calling hours were Wednesday night, and they were tough. We got to catch up with a few people from our church (that just dissolved) and it actually was wonderful to see them. Thursday morning was the funeral and it was beautiful. It was such a lovely tribute to her life, what a special person she had been to so many people. We went to the family dinner afterwards, it was at a park the family owned. It was great as well. Her family really took us in and accepted us like their own. Something happened that I didn't expect, I found myself a little bit healed from the pain we experienced as the church fell apart. It was like I could look at the experience and say that it brought us to this moment, at Margie's funeral, where we were sharing life with people and experiencing life's greatest pains. It somehow started to make a little bit of sense. I can say knowing Margie has changed me, for the better, and she will always hold this little corner of my heart.
On to the house renovation. Over a year ago we got a quote to redo our kitchen floor. It was well above our budget, so we just set the idea aside. Well, my amazing mother suggested we get another quote, only this time, just to tear up the existing flooring and lay down a sub-floor. My step-father is so talented and said he could finish the project by laying the floor and doing all the finish work. So, the floor project (which is my Christmas present) began rather quickly. We approved the quote Monday afternoon and our contractor said he would be there the next day...oh my. Which meant, all appliances needed to come out of the kitchen Monday night. So, we have spent the entire week with no appliances, not even really being able to get in the kitchen at all. Eating out for every meal sounds a little appealing, until you actually do it, and it's actually gross. I will post pictures of our renovation soon....thank goodness it's almost complete!
Next on the list...putting in my notice at work (yikes!). I had been thinking about this for a long time. I went back and forth for months. Should I or shouldn't I? And it finally came down to this, do I trust God or not? Do I trust God to provide for my family, or do I trust myself to provide for my family? My job was a blessing, it paid well and had great benefits. But, I was miserable. I took the job thinking this amount of money would change our lives. The truth is, we were able to pay a little bit on student loans, but it didn't change our lives. I started spending a ton of money on gas to get to work, had to buy nice clothes to fit the dress code at work, and ate out every chance I got to socialize with co-workes. We made more money so we spent more money. Money doesn't equal happiness, or security, or comfort. What a lesson. And I realize to anybody else out there, what I did does not make sense. In fact, we have yet to tell most people that I put in my notice. I feel a little scared, not sure what is next, but I also feel relieved. My mom and I were to lunch a month ago and she looked at me and said, "It's like all your joy is gone." I knew that wasn't the person I was made to be. I knew while working there my priorities were all messed up. I kept thinking if only I keep working and pre-paying on student loans (which aren't even due for repayment until November 2012) then everything will be okay. Meanwhile, the way my job was affecting me was leaking into all other aspects of my life. I am really feeling called to a more frugal, simple, joyful life.
And finally, I am on day number three of the stomach flu. Lovely, just lovely! I kind of has felt like my world fell apart last week, like I wasn't sure which was was up and which way was down. And I simply can't believe Christmas is two short weeks away! Are you prepared? I am not even close! I just want to slam on the breaks and be able to take the time to enjoy the blessings of this season. I once heard I quote (unfortunately I don't remember where) that said, "if the devil can't make you bad, he can make you busy." XO